If you did not catch the joke exchange on the Facebook page, here are a few you might enjoy:
A pastor was running late for a counseling session, and couldn’t find parking anywhere near the office building he was headed to. Desperate to make it on time, he pulled into a “no parking” zone, and left a note on his windshield, which said: “I’m a minister who’s circled this block 10 times, and I’ll be late if I don’t park here. Forgive us our trespasses, Matthew 6:12.” When he got back, there was a ticket waiting for him. Written on the envelope, it said: “I’m a parking officer who’s worked this block for 10 years, and I’ll get fired if I don’t write you a ticket. Lead us not into temptation, Matthew 6:13.”
A church hired a man to re-paint its building and paid him for labor and materials in advance. But the man had a dishonest streak. He bought only half the paint that was needed, pocketed the rest of the cash, and thinned the paint so it would be enough to cover the building. On painting day, just as he was finishing the job, a gigantic thunderstorm came up. It rained so hard that it started washing the paint off the church. The dishonest painter started to panic, and became totally distraught when a huge voice thundered out of the billowing storm clouds, “Re-paint! Re-paint! Go ye and thin no more”.
How about the guy who went to the First Baptist Barbershop? He got a shave and a haircut from the preacher’s wife, who introduced herself as Grace. Three days later, the man still had no stubble on his chin. He went back and asked how this was possible – three days later, and not a bit of hair! The clients all told him the same thing: he’d been shaved by Grace, and that meant once shaved, always shaved.
A little boy was selling newborn puppies from his front yard. A passerby asked what kind of puppies they were, to which the boy replied, “These are Agnostic puppies.” The man chuckled and went on. Two weeks later he happened to pass the same house, and the boy was selling the remaining puppies, now running around behind a small fence. “Still got those Agnostic puppies, I see,” the man said. “No, sir, these are Christian puppies.” “Really,” said the man, “what changed?” “Well,” said the boy, “now their eyes are open.”
Once upon a time there was an abbey with beautiful flower gardens on the grounds surrounding it. But giving was off, so to supplement income the friars decided to go into the flower business. They opened a florist shop in the abbey where the faithful could buy colorful flowers and floral arrangements. The business flourished and the abbey became very rich. Now when the local mafia heard about this, naturally they wanted in on the action. So they sent their toughest strong man, Hugh the Enforcer, to make the friars an offer for the flower shop that they couldn’t refuse. But to their surprise, the friars did refuse the offer, and continued their successful flower business, making money left and right. The mobsters tried a second time, sending Hugh the Enforcer to see them with an even better offer. Again the friars refused, and when Hugh the Enforcer came back with a higher offer yet, they turned him away again. The mobsters were so enraged by this that they sent Hugh the Enforcer back to teach the friars a lesson. Hugh busted up the flower shop and tore up the gardens, and the abbey once again fell on hard times. We learn from this that only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
