One of our new volunteers, Myles B, asked for some advice from other writers on our Facebook group before starting out, and several responded. We thought it would be helpful for all to see. Thanks so much for your input!
From Myles: Before I get my first question in a few days; any advice for me?
I’ve been counseling primarily police and a military for the last eleven years, but typically face to face. I am aware that when I “text” I can come off as aggressive and I know I am embarking on an entirely new area here. I don’t want to inadvertently hurt more than do good. …tips?…thoughts?
From Fred B: I try to remember grace first. I also try to share what I think they are asking and try to make the answer as clear as I can. I also come across as very harsh at times so I try to remember that also. Give the person the benefit of the doubt about the situation. Welcome to Got Questions. Thanks for your help with military and the police.
From Rhonda M: Hi, Myles. I am former USAF myself and have worked in public safety (911 dispatcher). If you have worked with police, victims, and even perpetrators you know that there is always a story behind the story. With GQ, there is very often a question behind the question. One that has stuck with me was a fairly straightforward question: what does the Bible say about removing life support? I sensed in my spirit that this was not an academic question, but one with life and death implications. I prayed for the questioner, asked God for His direction, wisdom, grace, and courage to answer–not a bad way to field every question, really. Grace, grace, and more grace- supernatural grace. Even when the questioner is aggressive or seems to have an agenda–God has assigned this person with questions to you. You will do great and be blessed. So glad to have you on board!
From Chris D: Open with a friendly greeting. Humility. Speak the truth in love.
From James Q: Edit. Whatever and however your initial response, edit. Let sit a bit, then edit for accuracy, clarity, simplicity, and that tone you would use face-to-face with a friend or a sincere seeker.
From Tim W: You have three days to answer a question. Don’t be afraid of using the extra time. True that sometimes, faster is better, but I have found that if I pray about it a while and keep it on my mind, when I sit to write, there is no doubt what God wants me to write. Usually, it will end up being something I am facing in my counseling, have just finished facing, or about to face. God speaks to my situation far more than I help anyone else. He is neat like that.
From Brian M: Welcome aboard. I would say if you already recognize that there can be a tone in text, you’ve already won half the battle. When you read back through your response to a person, try to shift to their position. If you see anything where you are in doubt whether if it could be received in a way that you don’t mean it to sound, err on the side of caution and soften the wording. That way, it mitigates the chances that you come across as anything less that loving.
From Sarah VB: Humility is key. Don’t assume too much from counseling related questions. Sometimes I try to repeat the question back to the questioner in pieces – For instance, It seems like you are saying…., and then answer that piece. Often I invite them to write back if I have assumed too much about their question or missed the mark because it is difficult to understand the scope of their questions within a paragraph (and I’ll state that too). Taking a tone of humility and inviting them to write back if they still have questions is a good way to soften your writing. I can be firm when it comes to really important theological issues – like once when a woman wanted her husband’s mistress to get an abortion. But save the hammer only for when it is really needed. Like Chris D said, make it your mission to speak truth in love. We don’t have to argue the Bible, we’re more or less teaching people.
From Kris J: I can be very matter of fact myself, so my advice would be: After prayerfully putting your answer down in writing, step away for a while. When you return, reread it with a fresh set of eyes and imagine yourself being the one to receive your answer: Would you receive it well or would you feel offended, given the question asked? How would those words on the page make you feel after you read them? Always remember that when using our gifts, they need to be wrapped in love. John 13:34-35; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.
From Dawn J: For me, the key is prayer first. And, like a few others said, I like to write an initial draft and let it sit. It’s amazing how many times I sit down to finish it and I get a different idea (which I know isn’t from me). Our God is truly gracious to us! May the Lord bless and direct you as you answer questions!
