After receiving an answer: I surrendered and reconciled with Christ as my Lord and Savior. I feel more free than ever. I decided to give up the drinking and drugs and finally admitted I can't do this my way any longer that I need Jesus like I always knew I did deep down. I know it's gonna be tough sometimes but I feel joy and security when I remember I don't have to go through life anymore alone and depressed. I remember now that, I have my God with me and I can always trust and count on Him which I do. I thank you for telling me what you told . . .