Q&A – Affairs and STDs January 5th, 2015 Tim White January 5 at 10:20am Any fodder for: “What does the bible say about a spouse who has an affair and brings an std into the marriage?” Like · Seen by 43 Ed Chait likes this. Barbara Ann Reynolds Adultery injures the innocent party in so many ways. I’ve been present as an RN when we had to tell the wife that she had an STD from an unfaithful husband. Breaks my heart. January 5 at 10:26am · Like · 2 Corpuz Valdemor Avellaneda Ramil It is one of the grounds for annulment here in the Phils. (no divorce here0. January 5 at 11:07am · Like Laurel J. Davis It doesn’t say anything about STDs. The fundamental problem (sin) is the adultery, not the STD. January 5 at 1:35pm · Like Tim White Yes, Laurel , I believe we all agree with that, and thanks for reminding us. Yet, the STD adds to the sense of betrayal. One who promised to be in a protective love relationship disregarded the partner’s physical health and placed him at risk. That compounding of betrayal cannot be dismissed as it is part of the betrayal the questioner understands in the pain of the moment. January 5 at 2:05pm · Like · 1 Laurel J. Davis I’m not dismissing it, and I know no one here needs a reminder. And I agree the STD compounds the betrayal (as would a pregnancy or a host of other potential consequences of fornication). I was just responding to the question as presented in your post, knowing my audience is among fellow GQ writers and not the questioner. I also carefully worded my comment with “fundamental” because the victim’s health is always put at risk by a cheating spouse, even if they don’t catch a disease. Even though the STD is most definitely a problem, it is not the fundamental problem. Semantics, perhaps, but I was addressing what the Bible specifically says and what it doesn’t say on the topic of adultery and STDs. I just didn’t say more than that because we have visited that topic on another thread just a few days ago. January 5 at 2:43pm · Like · 2 Steven Matthew Vovk Husbands are to love as Christ loved the church. There is no easy way out of this. The injured party needs to protect themselves and then pray and consult spiritual elders and begin the process of restoration. January 5 at 3:52pm · Like · 1 Tim White Laurel, I agree 100%. The question is posted as what the Bible says about the situation. However, I sense that in my answer, while considering your exact points and hopefully relaying them faithfully, I will need to address the sense of betrayal on both levels. January 5 at 4:48pm · Like · 2 Laurel J. Davis Sorry if I seemed to suggest otherwise, Tim. Not my intent! January 5 at 5:12pm · Like Tim White Laurel, no, you did not suggest that. I was just thinking out loud. Still praying and handling the question, hopefully from different angles. January 5 at 5:13pm · Like · 1 Laurel J. Davis God is good. The questioner (and GQ editors) brought the concern to the right place! January 5 at 5:21pm · Like · 1 Ed Chait Jesus knows what it’s like to be innocent and afflicted. January 5 at 5:35pm · Like · 2 Steve Ray Webb Is the electric chair available in your State? Yesterday at 8:09am · Like Tim White For those who contributed, thank you. I hope I hit all the bases. Except the electric chair issue.Answer: Dear friend, thank you for your question. In short, the Bible does not say anything about STDs, but does speak about immorality, adultery and fornication.And the Bible says much about the sacred and protective nature of love and marriage. Abraham believed in God and it was counted to him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6, Romans 4:3, and Galatians 3:6). However that does not mean that he was perfect and a model husband. On two occasions, he told his wife to say she was his sister in efforts to protect himself, without regard to Sarah’s safety (Genesis 12 and Genesis 20).The greatest sin this guilty spouse committed was despising the commandments of God. When David confessed of all of his sins in the Bathsheba sexual affair and murder of Uriah, he wrote, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.” Psalm 51:4.The next sin is betraying the mate by breaking the covenant of marriage. The commitment of marriage is important to each of the couple, so much so that God called it sacred (Hebrew 13:4). Marriage was designed to be a commitment of trust because the husband protects the wife and the wife protects the husband. Each realizes that the other trusts them with their life and that trust in their mate is safe.When adultery occurs, there is naturally a sense of betrayal. This often introduces questions of value; the innocent mate feeling worthless and not worthy of love and protection. This must be compounded and complicated when the guilty partner brings further danger into the marriage through STDs. The guilty party can claim lack of intent in this, but cannot support that because there was a lack of protectiveness for the marriage partner. The marriage commitment, love and protection was set aside for at least one moment of selfish disobedience and betrayal.Biblically, the innocent party is permitted to seek divorce according to scripture (Matthew 19:9). However, this is not a commandment. Divorce must never be because of lack of forgiveness and/or bitterness over past sin and failure when there is true repentance (Matthew 6:14:15). It should only be chosen because either there is no repentance or there is no assurance that there will not be future betrayals through adultery.The victim of this situation will need lots of love and support from fellow Christians. I hope and pray this one is, or will get, involved with a good, loving Church. Yesterday at 10:39am · Edited · Unlike · 4 Ed Chait Great answer to a horrible situation. Thanks for sharing it Tim. 23 hours ago · Unlike · 1
