Question: I just turned 56 years old iam christian but having a hard time dealing with death although i understand we will be with christ i feel its so unfair to have to be born then die because we was born in sin plus having to leave our loved ones how can i stop depressing over this
Profile: Female, North America, 46–60
Answered by: Paul Bawden, who has been a volunteer with us since March, 2004.
Answer: Thanks for your question regarding death.
I can identify with you, for I have thought about dying as well. However, in the midst of our thinking about death, we have to come back to the words of Christ to Martha in John 11:25, where He told her that “He was the resurrection and the life, he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” Martha’s reply was positive, as she expressed in belief in Christ as the Son of God, the One to come into the world.
Now in that John 11 chapter, Jesus showed His power over death by raising Lazarus from the grave. But Christ not only showed His power over death by raising Lazarus from death, Christ also conquered death bodily, as He rose from the dead on the first day of the week, Easter Sunday. Since Christ conquered the grave bodily, those who believe in Him will also conquer the grave when He returns (I Corinthians 15:12-23).
This is why Paul taught that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (II Corinthians 5:5-8) He also told the Philippians that for him to live is Christ, but to die is gain (1:21).
In I Thessalonians 4:11-18, Paul told his readers and us today that the person who passes from this life – actually his personality, that which is who he is as an individual – is asleep in Jesus, that is the believer is alive, but is resting waiting the coming of the Lord when he will receive a new body (like the Lord’s glorious body), joined with his personality which comes with the Lord.
I know it’s easy to read the Scriptures and say, AMEN, to them. It’s another matter to believe that they are true and let them encourage us to live with eternal purpose in the present, while having the life-changing hope that we will be with Christ when we pass from this life. However, that is what the Lord wants us to do. In the midst of our unbelief at times, we need to ask the Lord to help our unbelief. He understands, and His word is there to encourage us to take heart and continue serving Him where He has us.
Yes, passing from this life into the presence of Christ separates us from our loved ones still on planet earth. But on the other side of the coin, going to be with Christ means that we will be joined with our loved ones who knew the Lord and are now with Him.
In fact, Paul told the Thessalonian believers that because their loved ones are with the Lord, they will sorrow but not as those who have no hope. Believers in Christ belong to Him whether they live or die in Him.
That means all fairness is thrown out the window, for life is not fair. Why? Due to sin. Adam represented the human race and had the choice to obey God or disobey God. He did the latter, and sin came into the human race (Romans 5:12). That is why we die physically, and are separated from God spiritually. Unless Christ came into the world to pay our penalty for breaking God’s law which is death (Romans 6:23a), was buried and conquered the grave bodily, we would be yet in our sins. But through faith in the Lord, we have His forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7), and eternal life (John 3:16; Romans 6:23b), with the daily experience with Him to know we are His, and nothing or no one can separate us from His great love for us (Romans 8:35-39).
This means, rather than focusing on death, perhaps feeling sorry for yourself and your loved ones, you need to focus on who Christ is (your Savior and Lord), and the resurrection life, His eternal life, that he has given you, so you can serve Him with enthusiasm in the power of the Holy Spirit, showing the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life as you depend upon His indwelling power. Such will not only change your attitude, but others will know that you are living for Him. I’m sure there is much more the Lord has for you to do in His kingdom for your family, your church, in your neighborhood, at work. Go for it!!
In the process, as you live for the Lord, and have opportunity, when the timing is right, you may like to talk to your loved ones about the wonderful hope you have in Christ, which gives you strength to live for the Lord here knowing that your future is secure in Him. This will also encourage them, as they live their lives for Him, if they know the Lord as their personal Savior. Someone has said that the one prepared to die is prepared to live.
Why not take some time to memorize some Psalms which focus you on who the Lord is: Psalm 46;47; 62:5-8; 100; 103:1-8; 145.
Take hope in the Lord. God bless.
Paul
