** This response is thorough, easy to understand, and personable. The response discusses the nuances of the question while still being concise. It shares biblical truths, encourages, and has a friendly tone. **

Question: Should you care what other people think about you?

Profile: Male, North America, Christian, 26—35

Answered by: Gloria Small, who has been a volunteer with us since October, 2003.

Answer: Hello!

Should we care what other people think about us? While it is important for our self-image to be likeable, amenable and approachable by other people, if we are focused on pleasing others, it can be a ditch that we fall into. Jesus told us that if the world hates us we should know that it first hated Him (John 15:18). The word translated hate here means to detest and to persecute. So as believers, we should expect there to be some animus from others based upon our testimony. And while real persecution is not something that we see against believers in our country, the Voice of the Martyrs reports that there is rampant persecution and hatred in the world at large against Christians with many losing their lives for their testimony. The old saying is beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people are going to like us and some may not. Living life to please others so that they like us is a slippery slope. For as God says in Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together except they be agreed.” It is impossible to please everyone and as believers, we certainly are not going to agree with the disagreeable who do not accept God’s viewpoint.

There is also the passage in Luke 6:26 that says when all speak well of us it is not such a good thing for the fathers also spoke well of false prophets. In other words, speaking well of us is relative, it is based upon the opinion of the one speaking and their opinion can perhaps be based on a faulty sense of who we are. The reality is we cannot make people like us or think well of us and we certainly cannot read another’s mind.

The idea here should be that if our heart is in a right relationship with God that it is His opinion of us that is the real issue. And since God sees the believer IN Christ (I Corinthians 1:30: Ephesians 1:3, 6) it is our spiritual position as a child of God that determines our standing before Him. Therefore, it is better to have God’s approval than to depend upon the good will of others. Not that it means we cannot be likeable and approachable. It is just that as believers, it should not be our focus. Living our lives to glorify and please God will bring us response from others; some will be positive and some negative.

Because of His grace, Gloria.